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Writer's picturePriyaa Shukla

How to love yourself unconditionally and three reasons why it works



“I give out love and joy and find it where ever I turn”- As I opened my arms and said that out loud in front of many strangers in a workshop. I could feel the awkwardness flow in my entire body. And then I gave my trainer a bashful look. Our eyes met and she smiled back at me. That was my first conscious encounter with an affirmation. Over the years I realised that the answer always lies in the discomfort, if you stay with it long enough things tend to reveal itself.


Eight years later affirmations are an integral part of my life. I was introduced to Heal your life® and the wonderful work of Louise hay when I had hit a rock bottom with my health, my relationships, my job and career. I was just twenty eight. Nothing seems to be working out. The plan of life which I had laid for myself had all seem to backfire. Success, love, money even trust felt like a far-fetched idea. So in my workshop, Love yourself heal your life which is originally designed and conceptualised by the best-selling author, Louise Hay. I was learning about the idea of self-love. It sounded almost like an unfamiliar concept. Yet, for me the most powerful idea was that the locus of control is internal hence I can have full control over my issues. It gave me an immediate sense of relief and power.


Interesting right? So lets dive directly into the greater good.


Can we really come in the way of our good? The answer is a big affirmative yes.


Next question would be- how? To that my answer would be with our- Thoughts


In Neuro linguistic programming, the experts believe that we think some eighty to ninety thousand thoughts in a day and most of these thoughts are habitually negative and repetitive. These negative thoughts will eventually lead to negative self-sabotaging behaviours and, there are number of things that then comes in the way of loving yourself – Self-Sabotage, self-doubt, self-loathing eventually leading to low self-esteem, self-deprecation, identity crisis and dubiousness. And this is where our true connection with self is lost.


Loving yourself is an extremely powerful way of taking care of ourself, a foundation and pillar of many success stories around us. Many psychologist including the pioneer of emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman have endorsed it. Louise hay, mentioned in many of her talks and books how loving yourself helped her to overcome a difficult and abusive childhood and survive cancer.


3 Inspiring reasons why loving yourself works and it will clearly help you to improve your life:


#1. Consciousness: When we become aware of our thoughts it is the first step towards healing. The most important question to ask yourself is what am I choosing to believe (about me, this person or this situation)


#2. Charge: Since these are my thoughts which I think in my head hence, I have full control over it. Here the question is how my beliefs are impacting my life?


#3. Choice: Our life becomes an outcome of what we choose to believe on a daily basis. So can I replace these negative thoughts with a more enabling, self-serving ones? What new choice I am willing to make?



Once you answer these questions, it will bring a whole new perspective of thinking, feeling, behaving and being.


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